Wednesday October 29

“Watching the last game of the World Series and talking with Roberta about our shopping plans tomorrow!”

My dad is probably yelling. Not because he’s a Royals fan or even really a Giants fan, he just really loves to yell at the TV, and sports seem to be his best outlet. I’ve heard him issue death threats using players’ names before. Football season is now in full swing, and Basketball is just around the corner, so now my dad can spend some quality time raising his blood pressure and not have to endure HOURS of what amounts to basically the more motivated version of golf. Summer is a tough season for him. Golf, Nascar, Baseball, Bachelor in Paradise—its an entertainment desert, people.

On to shopping plans! Roberta and Mom are definitely gonna hit up ALL the hot spots. TJ Maxx, Marshalls, maybe even Belk if they’re feeling feisty. Apparently, Berta LOVES going to Marshalls. Every time she visits and she signs up for a Marshalls card. The problem is that if you don’t use your Marshalls card for six months, they delete your account. Berta doesn’t come around that often, so EVERY time she goes, she tries her old Marshalls card and realizes that shit ain’t gonna work. Then she does all the paperwork to get a new Marshalls Card. Its not like you and me doing paperwork, she’s eighty effing nine. It takes like half the trip. But then, finally, they take advantage of all the super sweet deals, grab an Icee from Target, skip back to the car in their brand new blouses and say “let’s do it all again!”

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