Special Edition: Berta’s Big Day Out

Thursday October 30

Berta’s (still) in town! After prepping their journey, mom and Berta have hit the town. I got two updates from their shenanigans.

Text #1—7:33 pm

“With Roberta in Asheville having marguerites & just got her hair done today at Debbies!”

Finally, Berta got her marguerite fix. My mom included a picture text exactly like this with Roberta poised beside her margarita in a tex-mex restaurant. She’s sipping from the straw with the biggest “I just got my hair did” shit-eating grin on her face.

One thing that I believe some people have lost in this world is ways of saying “yes” to alcohol. If you ask Roberta if she wants some more wine/margarita/fireball she doesn’t say “line ‘em up, lets get cray tonight.” She says “Oh, that would be fine.” And then her eyes light up like Cave of Wonders and down it goes. You can tell she enjoys it, but she doesn’t scream across the bar “We run this shit!” Everyone below 30, take note. No…everyone below 60. I’ve run into you fifty-fiver Orthodontist from Atlanta, and you’re worse.

Text #2—10:21pm

“Helping Roberta re-try on clothes from our shopping trip & turning up the pant legs so I can hem them up to be shorter to fit her!”

Not only is my mom taking this frail, beautiful, sub-five footer shopping, she’s turning her effing pants up! Good god. What a day out. Hair did, pants hemmed, and buzzed. 

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