Friday December 12

“Its Friday night, you know what we are doing- still putting away groceries because we went to see a display of 150 different crèches from around the world before dinner & shopping!”

She’s on to me. Or is she on to…herself? I’m not sure. Also WTF is a crèche? Well kids, lemme tell you because I googled it myself. From Wikipedia:

Crèchecreche or cresch may refer to:

  • Day care center, an organization of adults who take care of children in place of their parents
  • Nativity scene, a group of figures arranged to represent the birth of Jesus Christ
  • Crèche (zoology), animals taking care of young that are not their own

Let’s go through all the possibilities to narrow this one down. I’ll give each definition a “Percentage Of Obvious Possibility” rating—or POOP for short, we don’t have much time so acronyms are helpful—and then we’ll tally the scores.

Childcare

What is the POOP that my mother and father went to see 150 different daycares on a Friday night? Well we can’t rule it out entirely. My mother’s profession does involve children, and there’s a daycare at the Church my mother works at, so 1 of 150 is already knocked out of the park. There’s three other churches on that street who probably run some kind of daycare, so there goes 3 of 150, which triples our POOP and brings it to a whopping .2%. Also, my parents love kids and they don’t currently have any grandkids (don’t look at me, right now that’s a low POOP). So adding on the “lack of grandkids” POOP, and I’d say we’ve added another 10%. And you thought we’d have no POOP for this one. 

Final childcare POOP-10.2%

That’s a startlingly large POOP, considering all the evidence. My parents may spent their time visiting 150 daycares on a Friday night.

Nativity Scene

Well, it is Christmas time, so it seems like the nativity option may have a lot of POOP. My question is, where the hell were 150 nativity scenes assembled!? We are in the Bible Belt, which automatically increases the POOP tenfold. The only place I could think of would be a Baptist church—my parents, as God loving Presbyterians, wouldn’t be caught dead in a Baptist church, so down goes the POOP. Maybe it was in a Christian library or something? Christian libraries could up the POOP. I dunno. I just don’t see my parents spending their Friday night looking at one hundred and fifty nativity scenes when they could be getting their sticks of butter buy two get one free at Ingles. The urgency of Ingles has dissolved the POOP once and for all.

Final Nativity Scene POOP-20%

I gave it 20 just because I figured they might like the POOP.

Zoology

Animals? Now this one really has some POOP! Considering the definition consists of animals taking care of another species, I think we might have a winner here. Bare with me here.

My younger sister, a human, has 3 cats and 1 dog. That’s a total of FOUR pets (you can almost feel the POOP rising. Right off the bat that’s 4 of 150. Those are the firmest POOP numbers we’ve had yet.) And everybody knows that pet people LOOOOVE meeting up with other pet people so they can talk about which flea and tick pill they’re using and when the last time it was that their pet ate something weird and threw it up. And when just a few get together, its pretty easy to multiply. We’ve all seen a dog park or two in our day—tons of POOP adding on here—even in a casual dog park you can hit up to 30 plus dogs. I can see how that could multiply like crazy and before long we’ve got some major POOP. I think we’ve found our match.

Final Zoology POOP-at least 50%

That settles it. The official POOP at 50%

My parents were watching 150 different examples of one species take care of another species young.

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