Friday September 5

“Grocery shopping”

Yes. I knew this one was coming up eventually. One of my mom’s favorite things to do on Friday night is errands. Why? Because NO ONEthefuckELSE is doing anything. Get ready there will be several more of these. And grocery shopping is just one of her many fabulous Friday night extravaganzas.

Everyone else in the first world is drinking poison, watching twaddle on Netflix, or eating entire Red Baron pizzas alone. Congratulations, internet, you have just been served. The Buzzfeed servers just had a power glitch out of pure fear of productivity.