Sunday September 28

“Shopping online, ordering a shower curtain from Bed Bath & Beyond.”

If there’s one thing my mom LOVES more than multitasking and/or paperwork, it is shopping. I’m not talking about Sex and the City “retail therapy” bullshit. I’m talking about grubbing in the trenches. I’m talking about finding things at RIDICULOUS prices after rooting through piles of baby clothes and shoes at Ross dress for less, Marshalls, or the biggest behemoth of them all: Rugged Warehouse. What? Don’t have one in your trendy-ass Bay-Area suburban wonderland!? You haven’t lived. She tag-teams with my younger sister and they tear it UP. I’m pretty sure people pay her to take shit off their hands. I have seen whole dresses purchased for 4 dollars brand fucking new, people. No rips, stains, or tears. This is AMERICA.

That being said, I’m surprised she’s shopping online, though not surprised about it being at 10pm. Also: is she moving? What does she need a new shower curtain for?