Thursday January 22. 10:05pm

“Helping your Dad hang the painting of flowers from you Papaw & Mamaw’s house!”

It’s a painting my mom brought home after my Papaw’s funeral. It is a painting of the flower arrangement at my Mamaw and Papaw’s engagement party. Aint’ that nice? Remember when people had those? Me neither. But then again, my Papaw and Mamaw probably didn’t get to experience the joys of viewing their friends, pseudo-friends, people they took an Ethnic Lit class in college, and ex-girlfriends’ engagement photos on the internet, either. So I call it a win for the future. So glad we’re in 2015, amirite?

Seriously, though, where are the hoverboards. I’m not talking about this crap. I’m talking about Mattel. Exhibit A:

Robert Zemeckis promised me a hoverboard and inside-out jeans and a giant hologram shark that pretends to eat you on the street! We had a CLEAR destination, a real goal.

Where have we gone wrong, Obama.