Monday November 24

“Filling Christmas gift baskets to take to Grandma, Aunts when we visit for Thanksgiving!”


Is it enough to deliver a gift? No. What about a few different gifts? Don’t make me smack you… up your game. Well what about if you wrap them individually and deliver them with love and care? Are you fucking kidding me!? Put that shit in a basket, you idiot! Add a bow! And also some straw-like material made by (I assume) the people that make that easter grass (they don’t make anything else). Make some ribbon curls using that trick with the scissor blades! Then drop it like its hot.

The only thing more mom-ish for the holidays than a gift basket is a cookie tray. You mean like a whole sleeve of chewy Chips-A-Hoy? NO, YOU horrid INGRATE, its like, 8 different kinds of sweets, ALL homemade arranged attractively like a deli meat and cheese thing. Once you get those delivered to your front door, its ON. You are marked for life. Mark your calendar, because from now on you’re doomed to receive delicious treats on a yearly basis, and to feel like you should be reciprocating. Its a lot like receiving the black spot from a pirate. 

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