“Just about to sit down with a glass of eggnog- 1st for the season, after running errands this evening. We went to the new Whole Foods for our first time!”

Okokok. So I said she wouldn’t bust out any Christmas decorations, but I didn’t say she wouldn’t drink eggnog! Also, and I’m POSITIVE we’ll hit on this later, but don’t think my mom’s getting too sloshy here. My mom and dad put, at most, one capful of rum into their eggnog. “A capful, you ask?” Yes, like one tiny little nothings worth of rum into their eggnog. Seriously, if you aren’t drinking eggnoggy rum (90% rum, 10% eggnog), then what, oh what, is the point of drinking eggnog? I may never know.

Glad to see she’s hitting up SOME grocery this weekend after dark. Whole Foods was surprising, though. Not because my parents never shop there…no yeah that’s the reason. My parents never shop there. I asked them, and they went because Whole Foods was selling Turkeys for 99 cents a pound—damn good turkey prices. Well, guess what? Those a-holes were out of turkeys. Whole Foods, you act like we got all damn night to find turkeys in this town. As if you don’t already look stuck up as it is, two people who never go to your store show up and you don’t have the ONE THING they want

pffft…nice.