“Just finishing attending a Worship service & tribute to 40 yers of ministry of Pete to honor his retirement!”

FYI, this is at 11pm. Yep, I had to text my mom because she hadn’t texted me at 10. She cray.

Just to clarify in case you’re confused: Yes, my mother was at a worship service on Friday night until 11pm. No, She’s not a crazy-ass Baptist with nothing better to do (those people, seriously), she’s at a retirement party for this dude who rules. Pete is the Dumbledore of Presbyterians. Trust me, people. I swear to whatever deity that may or may not exist, if there was magic in this world, Pete would have it, and he would straight up be Dumbledore. You can google him or whatever if you want, but that’ll never tell you what’s up. If you just meet him, all 6 foot 5 of him, you’ll be like daaaaaiimn that guy is a) super fly and b) maybe has powers.

Mom parties hard. We all know that. No surprises here. I’m sure the produce section misses her though. Or the dude at Home Depot who’s stuck there til 11.